Anyone watch Desperate Housewives? I’m hooked again…this season, for some reason, has got me hooked. Maybe it’s Dana Delaney’s new secretive character…I don’t know. But, one of the storylines that has caught my interest is Lynette’s cancer. My mom had cancer when I was a teenager, and it frankly scared the crap out of me. You’re always afraid your parents are going to be taken away from you. I am enjoying the Lynette storyline because of the open communication she is having with her entire family. Cancer is hard enough for adults to deal with, but it is extremely difficult to explain to children. Kids usually can understand a lot more than we think. It just has to be explained in a way that makes sense to them. Whether it’s an adult in their life that has the cancer or the child themselves, honesty is the only way to deal with explaining it.
- Keep it simple, especially with younger children. A good rule of thumb is to let them ask questions and simply answer what they ask. Don’t give them more information than they need at the time.
- Practice what you want to say before you sit down with the child. It won’t prepare you for all their possible questions, but it will help you to have a better idea of the direction and tone of your conversation.
- Reassure the child that the cancer is not catching. When they hear it’s a disease and it makes people sick, they will want to know if they can get it.
- Talk to them in terms they will understand, such as the cancer cells are like the bad guys attacking the body and the doctors are like Superman or Batman, trying to fight the bad guys.
- Tell them it’s ok to be scared and mad. Show them healthy ways to express and deal with those feelings.
- When treatments begin, explain the changes that will occur: the stomach problems, the hair loss, weakness and any other differences to what they are used to.
- Find a support group for the family because it helps them to know they aren’t the only ones going through this. Knowing someone else has been where they are can really help a child to feel like there is hope.
- Let them know that people can and do survive cancer, but it will be a tough fight and the family will have to work together to make the most of their time.
- Talk to the child about death, especially if they haven’t lost a loved one before. It’s a tough concept, even for adults, but it will help even if just a little. Remember to keep it in terms they can understand.
- Always take the time to make memories and tell them you love them.
